Among the things I'll miss the most:
- Waking up to my children calling for me (vs. an obnoxious alarm clock).
- Being the one to feed Carson all day and knowing her every little nuance. It's hard when other people have to tell you how much your baby is eating, whether she isn't feeling well and if she's smiling a lot or doing something new.
- Having conversations with Riker. He's really become my little buddy this summer and is SO much fun at this age. We just play and talk and hang out all day long, and he's having a hard time understanding why it won't be like that anymore. I want to cry just thinking about the fact that some days I will only see him for a couple minutes, since I'll be commuting to the city a couple days a week.
- Not having any real agenda every day. I like that the days just take us where they take us, and it's okay if the only thing I accomplish all day is re-loading the dishwasher because my full attention is focused on one or both of the kids.
It's been hard to reconcile leaving my babies in order to go to work to provide for them, but I know at the end of the day it's for the best. And I'm incredibly grateful for the wonderful 13 weeks I've had with them, since so many women don't even get that long. So instead of dwelling on all the things I'll miss about summer and being home with my little ones, I'm trying to think positively about all the things we have to look forward to.
Things I'm looking forward to include:
- Getting back into a routine. Although I've enjoyed not having an agenda for the short-term, in the long run I feel a little out of control without a normal daily routine.
- Finishing a cup of coffee while it's still hot.
- Taking a shower before 3:00 - and taking a shower alone (you moms know what I'm talking about). While this will require getting up before the crack of dawn, I know it'll feel nice to be showered, have my hair actually blown dry (rather than being thrown up wet) and be wearing a nice outfit more often than not.
- Getting back on a normal eating routine. I haven't lost all of my baby weight, and I haven't let it bother me yet because I've been enjoying summer and not really worrying about eating breakfast every morning or getting all my veggies in. I've eaten plenty of takeout fried seafood and Mexican food over the last few weeks, not to mention several dinners out with friends.
I've also enjoyed quite a few cocktails and glasses of wine, as well as several trips to local wineries, since I stopped nursing Carson. No shortage of calories there.
It's been fun, but going back to work will mean planned, regular meals, fewer drinks and a healthier me. Always a good thing!
- Having daily adult interaction and using my brain to tackle challenges that don't involve baby or toddler issues. As much as I love being home with my children each day, I don't know that I would be happy being a permanent stay-at-home mom. I love the work I do at my job, and know I would miss working with people, writing and strategizing all day long.
Fall is one of my absolute favorite times of the year, so returning to work also comes at a time when we're on the verge of awesome things like pumpkin picking, sweaters and boots, fall scented candles, crock-pot meals and football. The nights are already starting to cool off, so while I love summer and am going to miss it, I'm getting that fall itch and will be ready for it when it arrives.
For all you working moms out there, if you've gone through some of the same mental struggles I have, just know how amazing you are for balancing the work/family life day in and day out. We do the best we can, and I've decided I'd rather focus on all the good times and precious moments my family does have together vs. wishing there were more of them. I'm going to cherish every moment I have with my children, lean on my friends and family, and always remember that Friday nights are never more than a couple days away. ;)
Happy Labor Day Weekend moms and non-moms alike!